Managing Role Creep and How to Say NO

Role Creep impacts many nannies and can be a source of tension between families and nannies. In partnership with Anna Turner Consultancy, we present this resource to help and support nannies.

Hello from Anna Turner Consultancy

What is role creep?

Role Creep, or job creep, is when someone takes on tasks outside of their job role or responsibilities.

This happens quite often within nannying, leading to nannies feeling overwhelmed and undervalued, which can ultimately lead to the breakdown of previously happy placement.

A discussion about role creep between Anna and Matt

This video brings to life the issues around Role Creep and offers suggestions to help nannies facing similar problems in their current roles.

We’ve split the video into sections, so feel free to skip through to the areas that interest you the most. 

Min:Seconds + Section title
0:00   Introductions
1:50 Why this topic is important
5:40  What industry trends are driving role creep
9:30  Making your profile more appealing
10:15 What are their tensions with Nanny+ roles?
13:50 How can nannies manage the tensions created by role creep?
17:30 Communication is king
20:10 Managing informality and boundary blur
22:40 Create your space and own it
24:40 Communication is still king
26:25 The importance of the contract
28:45 Know your red lines
33:35 Maintaining the relationship and the contract
37:50 The reasonable test and saying no without conflict
46:10 Remember, you’re not trapped
48:30 When you need to say no, be assertive
52:20 In summary

Headline notes from the video

Explain the current nanny sector dynamics

The three big trends
1) Loss of nanny roles to nurseries – reflecting government funding for 15/30 hours of funded childcare
2) Working from home results in fewer sole-charge and more part-time roles
3) More Nanny+ roles – likely driven by the cost of living crisis, and families make budgets work harder
Nanny+ = Housekeeping | Light housekeeping |  Cook |  Family Assistant | Wiling to muck-in | PA

Explore the emerging tensions between nannies and families

Demands for Nanny+ creating a growing tension between Nannies and Families

Employee/staff relationship changing
– Smaller home staff teams cover the same roles
– Families want people in their homes who function like family members

Families are becoming less disciplined
– Informally changing the rules – feedback on social channels
– Unconscious creep – happens gradually over time

For example, if you get a text asking to do something new, ask for a face-to-face meeting to discuss the changes to your role correctly.

Role change as the children get older
– The nanny can become misaligned and, therefore, unhappy

Tensions can arise from not setting out expectations clearly from day one
– The approach to part-time roles is often more casual v FT. Therefore, they demand a more casual relationship

Tension is often from one-sided considerations.
– The family not seeing the nanny’s POV
– Better communication / managing upwards

Tension from unclear/ever-changing communication channels
– Inconsistent processes—i.e., I started the role with a nanny diary and regular catch-ups, but now the diary is not filled in, meetings to discuss children are only brief, etc.
– No catch-up session – It doesn’t have to be a formal review – have a regular cup of tea with mum or dad

Fixing the tensions

Create your space and own it – manage upwards / be empowered.

Communication is key – work hard to keep regular check-ins where you can raise issues and concerns as they arise.

Set the role up properly from the beginning – investing time at the start will protect the relationship in the long run.

Make sure your contract is fit for purpose – read it, challenge it and maintain it as your role develops.

Help nannies work with their red-lines and set shared expectations from day one

Red-lines are boundaries or limits which should not be crossed.

Take some time to work out where yours are and ask yourself if they need to be re-set.
– Will they change if you’re struggling to find a role?
– Where is there flexibility?
– The marketplace is moving, are you? 

Here’s a handy tool that can help you work out your red-lines and where you might be willing to move

Do both parents and nannies understand each other – never assume.
It’s all about good communication.

What’s the opportunity cost of not moving your red lines – are you happy with that?

Does your contract capture your Nanny+ roles?

The role of the contract
– It should set expectations for childcare and non-childcare responsibilities
– Read it and discuss it.  By doing so, you are exploring and defining the relationship

If you’re pulling your contract out every week, you’ve failed
– Especially for live-in – it’s your shared home – awkward living environment
– Clarity everything  from day one
– Open communications
– Planned reviews

If responsibilities do change and the changes are accepted – formally log it
Amend the contract’s roles and responsibilities so it’s all set.

Tips on how to avoid conflict and raise emerging issues regarding role creep

In every role, there will be times when additional requests will be made.

Is the request reasonable? Y/N
You are in a relationship – there is always give and take
– Is it just an acceptable one-off?   

Do the family deserve some give and take – are they respectful? 
Or is it time to move on?
– If the kids are older and they’re trying to bulk out the role, do they need a better solution

See things in the round.
A family struggling that asks for additional support respectfully differs significantly from a family taking advantage.

Also, weigh it up in the context of the role. A request to empty a washing machine isn’t so bad if everything else is perfect.

Consider your role within the family.
Washing up a glass because the dishwasher was full isn’t reasonable within the NORMAL workings of adults in a family home, and you should be working as a team.

If it’s still no! How do you say no, without saying no? 

Responding with No can be a bit combative – not to say it should never be used!

Before you reply, make the ask real:  Get the conversation on the right medium and invite a moment to talk face-to-face, as people can hide behind a WhatsApp or text message.

Express your appreciation: “I appreciate your suggestion, but it’s not feasible now because…”. 

Offer an alternative: “I’m sorry I won’t be able to help you with that, but perhaps we could…”. 
– Is there a better solution that you can suggest? 
– Can it be tackled together?

Explain your situation: “I’m really busy with my priorities right now, so I’ll struggle to take this on”. 

Make clear the opportunity cost of taking on more – does the childcare suffer

If this is becoming a trend, suggest a role review: Let’s discuss my priorities together to restructure them and explore how I can accommodate this new request. 

Always try to set a time frame for restructuring priorities or discussing a way forward.

NB: This may be an excellent time to discuss pay if they open up your responsibilities. Quid pro quo

When you have to say NO

Build confidence: Remember that saying no is a form of self-care and boundary-setting.

Be assertive:  It doesn’t have to lead to conflict.

Be clear: Be clear about your “no” and back it up with respectful reasoning.

Prepare for reactions: Be prepared for how others may react.  Think ahead

Stick to your decision: Once you’ve said no, stick to your decision (unless you are given a good reason to change your position).

Help and be helped
Finally, remember that there are lots of very engaged and supportive groups and resources out there to help you navigate the day-to-day challenges you face within a role, so please reach out and ask for support.