Nanny Pay and Bringing Up THAT Conversation 

Nanny pay is one of the main concerns leading to an otherwise successful placement becoming unpicked.

We encounter many nannies who have been happy in their roles, but their pay level is one area of dissatisfaction, and they don’t know what to do about it. 

How do you fix problems around nanny pay? 

This post offers a suite of strategies to help address nanny pay issues, starting right at the beginning of the recruitment process and continuing through situations where a nanny has been in the role for 18 months or more (at the end of the article).

Nanny Pay tips at any stage of employment

✅Do your research:  The nanny community offers many resources for support.  

✅Beware of false prophets:  Every day, pay-related social media posts attract ill-informed and inaccurate comments about average pay rates.  These posts make most nannies feel depressed about their pay level as they encourage unrealistic comparisons.  

So, please use common sense when researching and avoid unhelpful benchmarking. Every nanny, role, and family is different, and your pay level will reflect (amongst other things) your location, experience, and qualifications.

✅#GoGross: Always present your nanny pay rate in gross terms.  A family doesn’t know your tax code, so they can’t negotiate in net terms.

✅Don’t over-inflate your pay:  Nannies presenting their services at £20+ gross per hour can do that as they have the experience and skills that command a premium.  Equally, a nanny with just a few years of experience will undermine their credibility if they go in at that nanny pay rate.

Understand your outgoings when setting your pay rate and where you might be willing to negotiate.  

✅Focus on your Continuing Professional Development (CPD):  Taking up training opportunities across the year is an excellent way to command a premium at your level of experience (time in role). 

✅Be flexible (when you can be):  While you may pitch yourself at a specific rate, be clear on how far you will negotiate on that rate and under what circumstances.  Also, know where your redlines are and be ready to stick to them.

✅Get support:  Nannies are professional child carers, and, as with any professional career, external guidance can help and support you. 

Nanny pay and the initial interview process

Right at the beginning

There’s no point in going through the family’s interview process only to find out at the end that you are both misaligned on pay.  So, as uncomfortable as it is, a brief pay discussion should happen right at the beginning. 

Early on, a statement like, ‘While we’re yet to go through all the details, my typical rate of pay for a role like this is £x, let’s review the role and the come pack to pay so we can adjust and agree based on the demands of the role’.

Be clear about why you command the rate you are offering:

• Length of time in the role
• Qualifications and accreditations
• Aspects of the role which justify an enhanced pay rate, etc.
  

Tip:  If you do a trial, offer the nanny pay rate in the ad for the role.  After all, if the family expects to pay a certain rate when making an appointment, it’s fair to expect that rate in the trial.

NB:  When an agency leads the appointment, they may incentivise the family to go to a trial with a discounted pay rate.  If this isn’t something you’re happy with, clarify your pay and redlines with the appointing agency. 

See things in the round

When setting your nanny pay rate, take each role on its own merits and consider any additional rewards and compensations.   For example, a gym membership might encourage you to lower your pay rate.  Or, if it’s a live-in role that comes with accommodation, you will be expected to reduce your salary to reflect the full-time accommodation provided through the role.  

Pay and contracts

Your pay level should be shown in gross terms in your contract alongside the means of payment (hopefully through a PAYE service provider like Nanny Paye) and the payment intervals.

✅Performance and pay review dates should also be built into your contract.  We suggest the following:

• Weekly informal check-ins on performance and the role
• 3-monthly performance reviews
• 6 monthly or yearly pay and performance reviews

Setting and defining the regularity of reviews within the contract is essential. However, it is up to the family and the nanny to maintain these events.

Working with agencies and nanny pay

When working with agencies, it’s essential to be assertive and follow an evidence-based approach to support where you pitch your services concerning pay.

Equally, you must listen to the recruiter’s feedback as they know the current marketplace you are searching.

Nanny pay reviews when in-role

The crux of the post is that you’re in a role, don’t have regular pay reviews, and increasingly feel undervalued in an otherwise strong placement.

You have three options:  

1) Suck it up, accept the situation and sustain a role that’s making you unhappy

❌ This can’t be the answer!

2) Move roles and find a new, happy home where your pay better reflects your value

☑️ You are not trapped, so this is an option, but it comes with risks:  What if the new role falls short on other aspects of the role?

3) Re-negotiate your role and set up regular reviews to avoid future tensions around pay

✅ If you’re happy in your role, this should be your first consideration:  give your current family a chance to restructure the role to keep you happy and employed.

How to renegotiate when in-role

Being in-role is a strong starting position but shouldn’t be abused.  

Finding a nanny is challenging, as is finding a new nanny family. You likely have a positive, professional employee/employer relationship with the family because you’re not looking to leave.   

So, try to enter these discussions in a positive, non-confrontational way. Keep things upbeat and constructive, and celebrate all the good things about the role. 

Also, be prepared to shoulder some of the responsibility around the pay tensions you are feeling.  You’ve likely all been a little lax in ensuring regular reviews around performance and pay. Now, you are leading the implementation of this critical aspect of any working relationship.

Formally set up a meeting with your nanny family

You’ll likely know what works best for your family, and you can adapt this approach to your own needs. 

If you have a closer working relationship with one of the parents, perhaps speak with them first to say you’d like to implement regular reviews to ensure everything is going well.  Then follow up on that conversation with an email that suggests the first date.  

An ideal window for that meeting would be two weeks in advance. If that can’t be achieved, be flexible, but aim to have the first meeting within four weeks. Otherwise, you risk not making any progress.

Be clear on the purpose of the proposed meeting  

For example, ‘To help me better support your family, I am keen to set up regular performance review and a yearly pay review’.

Spend time planning why you are asking to change your level of pay

❌‘My friend has a similar role to mine, and she gets 15% more pay!’ is not a good or relevant basis for pay discussions.

✅Instead, set up the conversation with relevant observations about the role. 

What’s working well:

A great way to start conversations and puts everyone in a happy place.

• List out all the things you feel are working well
• Give the family a chance to provide feedback in the same way
• Explain how you’d like to continue in the role

How the role has changed:

Talk about some of the changes you’ve seen while working with the family.  And explain how you have adapted to new challenges.

• Ask how they think the role will develop across the next year

Some of the pressure you are feeling:

• Explain how you’ve let performance reviews slip, and you’re keen to get them back in place
• Perhaps there’s been a degree of role creep where you have willingly taken on more responsibilities
• Are there duties you can fulfil to help the family further?
• Talk openly about pay pressures: Perhaps it’s as simple as talking about the cost of living going up while your salary has remained the same over the last x years.

Check back on your contract

Are regular reviews a feature in your contract?  If it’s just a case of missed reviews, all you are doing is meeting the demands of the agreement you both signed 🙂

Listen to the family’s point of view

At each stage of the conversation, give the family a chance to consider what you have said and respond.  

Top tip:   Be prepared to take notes across the conversation.  It will make the write-up at the end more accurate, and it shows you’re taking your professional responsibilities seriously.

Be clear on what you are asking for 

Don’t make the conversation just about pay; use it as an opportunity to review your role in the round.

You may have more than these, but the core ‘asks’ are likely:  

Regular review that you all stick to

Tip:  Float the idea of a 3-monthly employer to employee sit down and a yearly pay review conversation. 

A refresh of roles and responsibility

Tip:  Make sure your contract reflects any changes.

A pay proposal

Tip:  Circle back to the section titled ‘Nanny Pay Tips at Any Stage of Employment’ at the top of this blog.  It will help you pitch the level of pay you desire with justifications.

Give the family time to consider your proposal

❌Avoid cornering your family!  The conversation may have come out of the blue, so give them time to discuss your proposal and get back to you. 

✅Ask for a date when you can all meet again after they have had time to consider everything. Be prepared for pushback, but don’t see that as a failure. You’re starting a conversation you needed to have, as there were tensions in the role.  

Tip:  It’s important not to be too rigid but also to know where your red lines are.  Also, be prepared to come to an understanding that the role is no longer right for you.   Remember, all roles change over time, and your skills may be better placed with another family.

Write up the outcomes and share them with your employing family

Before anything else happens, write up the outcomes and share them with your nanny family.  

Ensure you cover any new responsibilities, expectations, and, most importantly, the proposed new pay level and when it will commence.

Redefining the employee/employer relationship 

After your initial conversations, the family has considered and given feedback on your proposal. Hopefully, you’ve arrived at a new agreement regarding your nanny pay (and other aspects of your role).

You must capture this in the document that defines your employment:  YOUR EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT.

Amending the contract

Work through your contract and update the relevant sections. Tools like Word or Google Docs allow you to track changes together. Once everyone’s happy, you can both sign the revised contracts.

Tip: If you don’t have a contract, encourage one to be put in place by working with PAYE companies, like NannyPaye, who have contracts you can adapt. You can also contact us for our free template. 

Setting down future review dates

Remember to add your future review dates. To help you stick to them, send your nanny family a series of invites for the next 6 to 12 months so there are no surprises.

Onward you go! 

And if things don’t go as planned, don’t blame yourself! 

Family dynamics change as children grow, and the nanny they need today may not be the nanny you are.  It might be time to dust off the CV and search for a new nanny job.  If so, we are here to help and support you. 

Good luck 🍀